


Kiss me on the mouth and set me free

by oddishly



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 00:04:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9046475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddishly/pseuds/oddishly
Summary: "Do you wanna?" says Philip.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Why am I posting this an hour before Christmas? NOBODY KNOWS. cherie-morte is the best and most awesome beta reader and also, made me watch this terrible awful life-ruining show in the first place, so thanks to her for all of that!

Next time it hurts more. Lukas shoves Philip against the wall of the barn while Philip breathes and moans a bit and clutches at him, knees weakening when Lukas kisses down his neck to his collarbone, reckless and eager.

"I, I want to--" says Lukas, fingers laced into Philip's hair, then cupping his face, palm flat against his chest. "Can we--do you want--"

"Yeah," says Philip through a breath, and drags Lukas closer by the hips. "We can, I want."

"Have you got another--"

"Yeah," says Philip, huffing a laugh. "Actually, I've got--" He reaches for a kiss, pressing his mouth to Lukas's nervous, wanting smile. "I've got more than that." He digs into his pocket and pulls out a long string of condoms. "Loads more."

Lukas takes the condoms and pulls back to look at them. "Whoa. Did you buy these?"

"Gabe did," says Philip, feeling his face go the same brilliant red as Lukas's. "He uh. Gave me like, two of those. Told me to be safe and that I could talk to him if I needed to."

"Did you?" Lukas looks horrified.

"No!"

"No," Lukas agrees. He looks at all the condoms again, holding them up between them. "There's more?"

Philip leans back against the wall, trying not to feel self-conscious. He tugs Lukas close again with fingers in his belt loops. "We don't have to rush, or anything." He's abruptly worried about scaring Lukas off, wishing he'd just torn one of the condoms off and left the rest in his room. He nods at them. "Those will last for ages."

Lukas stares at him. His mouth curves. "Not if we use them first," he says, and goes even pinker. It makes Philip's chest ache to look at him. 

"I liked it, last time," says Lukas. "It was--nice. Good."

"Yeah," says Philip immediately. "Me, too. Really--nice." Legs on either side of Lukas, pressing down onto his cock and trying not to hold his breath, looking from Lukas's mouth to his chest, gripping his fingers. Putting his weight on his other hand by Lukas's head and leaning down to kiss him. Pulling himself up and sinking down on Lukas's cock again and watching his eyelids flutter. "I liked it, too."

They smile at each other. 

The barn is very quiet.

Lukas darts in and kisses him, firm and sure. Philip arches against him, heart racing, the condoms falling to the ground with Lukas's hands everywhere else on Philip's body. Philip turns them so he's got Lukas against the wall instead, holds his wrists tight to the stone, then presses his hands flat to Lukas's ribs, keeping him upright. He pushes his dick into Lukas's thigh, watching Lukas's smile stutter.

Philip summons his courage and says, "I want to do it here."

Lukas's eyes widen. "Yeah?"

"Do you wanna?"

"Yeah," says Lukas. "I want to do you everywhere. Here. Your bedroom. In Math. In the store. In Helen's truck. On my bike."

"Okay," Philip breathes. He reaches down between them to find the dropped condoms on the floor, then stands and kisses Lukas again, rolling them around so his back is to the wall again, to get started.

 

 

They go back to school, talk to a million counselors between them, go to the Red Hook party, kiss where Lukas's dad might conceivably see them, and the world doesn't end.

"I told you," says Rose, nudging Philip with her elbow from her place in their line of Rose-Philip-bike-Lukas on the street. "He never looked at me like he looks at you."

Lukas stays quiet. Philip looks between them.

Rose rolls her eyes. "I'm being nice! You two are meant for each other."

"This is weird," Lukas announces. Philip silently agrees.

"All I'm saying," says Rose, "is relax. I got over it and you were my boyfriend. So will everyone else."

Philip waits until she's taken her turn towards home before he takes Lukas's hand, feeling vaguely guilty.

"Don't worry," mutters Lukas. "I'm the one who cheated. She wouldn't have said all that if she didn't mean it."

"All right," says Philip, and tries to put it out of his mind. 

Lukas squeezes his fingers. "My dad's not back til tonight. You wanna come over?"

 

 

"Tell me if it's bad," says Lukas.

" _Fuuuuck_ ," Philip breathes in response, Lukas's mouth hot and incredible around the head of his dick. "Oh--"

Lukas looks up at him through his hair, eyes bright with enthusiasm. They're in his bedroom, Philip's legs spread wide with his feet planted on the ground, Lukas kneeling between. The cool evening light filtering through the window behind the bed makes his skin appear even paler. 

He sucks further down Philip's dick then stops.

Philip swallows. "'S'good. Lukas. This is really good."

Lukas goes down and slowly back up, tongue dragging on the underside, and comes off to lick his lips.

"You don't have to," says Philip quickly. Lukas looks at him, mouth red and open. Philip's chest aches. "If it's, um. If you don't like it."

"Whatever," says Lukas, and shoots Philip a grin before taking his cock into his mouth again.

"Okay," Philip breathes, reaching to stroke Lukas's hair out of his face then resting his hand around the back of his head. Lukas keeps his eyes open, this time curling his tongue around Philip's dick. He takes more of it in and gags a bit, pulls back to breathe, goes down again while Philip stares and holds on.

Lukas catches his eye. His cheeks are hollowed and flushed. Philip says, "You look _amazing_."

The blush deepens and Lukas keeps going, mouth widening to take more of Philip's dick. 

Philip groans. " _Feels_ amazing," he says, and groans again when Lukas responds with something that feels like he's sucking and licking at the same time. He lets his eyes fall closed. "You like it when I tell you stuff?"

Lukas hmms in immediate approval.

" _Fuck_ ," sighs Philip. "You are made for this."

Lukas makes another noise.

Philip shifts. "I--god, I love your mouth. Feels like. I dunno. Just feels really good."

Lukas comes off again to breathe then sucks Philip's dick back into his mouth, this time using a hand to make up the difference at the base. He holds tight, fist bumping into his mouth once, twice, three times.

Philip opens his eyes to the ceiling, saying, "Yes, yes, Lukas," without caring that he sounds like a total fucking idiot. He shifts so he's more upright on the edge of the bed, wanting to see. 

Lukas has his jeans open, the hand that's not on Philip's dick shoved into his own boxers. Philip watches the veins shift in his hand, jeans too tight for Lukas to jerk himself off, just holding his dick and squeezing while he licks and sucks at Philip's, moaning around him.

Philip's mouth drops open and he's coming like that, body seizing and dick pulsing into Lukas's mouth before he can warn him, head thrown back, swearing into the crook of his arm. Lukas coughs and comes off fast, continuing to jerk the base and rubbing his face along the rest.

"I'm sorry," Philip gasps out. "Shit--Lukas, I meant to warn you."

"It's all right, it was hot," Lukas rattles out, so quick that Philip has to replay it in his head to understand. Then Lukas is shoving his jeans down and jerking his dick through his boxers and coming, lip between his teeth and quick, sharp breaths escaping.

Philip stares at the gloss all over Lukas's face. "You're fucking amazing," he says. "That is the best thing that has ever happened to me."

Lukas seems pleased. "Me, too," he says, and looks surprised at himself. He turns red, wiping the come off his cheeks with the back of his hand. "You, uh, you. That was great, when you. Talked about what I was doing."

Philip grins, embarrassed. "I'll be better at it next time."

Lukas's expression brightens. Philip smiles at him and Lukas hides his face against Philip's thigh. "I'm really into you," he mumbles.

"Yeah," says Philip, laughing a little, touching Lukas's hair, his shoulders, feeling so much everything.

 

 

Lukas comes over for dinner and Gabe asks him about motocross and college again.

"Um, I think so," says Lukas through a mouthful of green beans. "I've got to find a new sponsor, the last junior track dropped me."

"I'm sorry to hear that," says Gabe with concern. Philip doesn't look away from Lukas but he feels a wave of affection for Gabe, all warmth and something like gratitude.

Gabe continues. "You think there's a chance they'll take you back?"

"Nah," says Lukas. "I ran out of the meeting--" he pauses, looking down, which is when Philip realizes what he's about to say. "When I went to give you the gun," he says to his plate, head tipped Helen's way, and lets them remember the rest.

"Ah," says Helen. Then, lightly, "Worth it, then."

"Yeah," says Lukas. He puts his fork down and looks sideways at Philip, wearing that unexpectedly honest expression that's becoming more familiar. "I'd do it again."

Helen and Gabe are quiet. Philip blinks at him over their plates. "I love you," he says, absolutely the last thing he'd intended to.

There's a long silence.

"Well," says Helen through a smile, at the same time as Gabe, also smiling, says, "Thank you, Philip," and Philip puts his head on the table. "Oh, god,” he says. “Pretend I didn't just say that."

"Nah," says Lukas, grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the room, slamming the door when Helen calls, "We'll put some music on," after them.

Philip lets Lukas drag him into his room and shut the door, trying desperately to forget the last 30 seconds. "Sorry," he says, "sorry, sorry, shit. Oh, shit, I'm so embarrassed."

Lukas kisses him and pushes him to fall down on the bed. "I, no," he says. "I mean. Do you, really?"

Philip looks at him, his wide eyes and sharp jaw, his nervous hands. "Never been this sure of anything." 

He wants to tell Lukas that this is the second time he's said it, that the first time he'd said it because it was important that Lukas wake up and hear it, that Philip had thought it might work like everything the doctors were trying hadn't been. It's not the right time, though, Lukas looking happy and surprised and a little worried, hovering in the middle of Philip's bedroom.

Philip says, "You don't have to say it back. I know how you feel." He makes his voice as normal as he can, wants Lukas to stop fretting about this. It's supposed to be a nice thing to hear, after all. "I know it's--big."

He changes his mind, deciding it is the time. "You were in a coma the first time I said it. So I've had practice." He realizes something. "That's when your dad saw me kiss you. Through the glass, I mean."

Lukas looks startled. He steps up to the bed and Philip takes his hand. "You said it in the hospital?"

"Yeah."

"Oh." Lukas thinks. "You gonna tell me in front of a teacher next time?"

"Probably," says Philip darkly, and lets Lukas push him down on the bed, Gabe's horrible country music starting and floating in through the floorboards.

 

 

They cut class to kiss under the bridge, Lukas slipping cold hands under Philip's shirt and around his waist to pull him closer. They kiss until Philip thinks he's going to pass out from the rush, Lukas's impatient mouth and hands, the muddy earth underfoot and the chill of the afternoon, Lukas's thin, heaving chest and racing heart. Philip takes Lukas's head in his hands, fingers lacing into his hair, and kisses his neck, smiling when Lukas squirms a bit.

Lukas's bike falls over and they both jump and turn to look. There's no one there, just the bike lying on its side. Lukas frowns.

"It's raining," says Philip in surprise. The stone wall beyond the tunnel is gleaming, caught in the yellow light of a streetlamp, and the ferns are tipping and waving gently with the weight of the rain.

Lukas holds up his forearm. It's caught the spray, skin damp and prickling. "I didn't even notice."

Philip dips his head to lick the dampness off, lots of extra tongue, then yells when Lukas wrinkles his nose and wipes his arm on Philip's cheek.

"Come _here_ ," says Lukas, like Philip's even going anywhere, but he gets it and moves closer. He whispers into Lukas's ear to make him laugh and kiss him again, over and over until all that's left of the day is Philip and Lukas and the rain.

 

 

Philip never wants to see the cabin again but he wants Lukas to himself, somewhere Gabe or Helen or Bo aren't in hearing distance of the door.

 _We could go back to the motel_ Lukas suggests, texting him from the other side of the lab while their Chemistry teacher goes on and on about Hess's Law and enthalpy change.

Philip doesn't think he can do that yet. _Can't_ he types, mind flooding with images of his mom, and what happened to her while they were there, in that motel, the last time. _Sorry._

 _It's okay,_ says Lukas, and then the teacher turns back from the board and glares at him til he puts his phone away. Lukas rolls his eyes at Philip.

After class, Lukas takes his hand outside the door and kisses him full on the mouth, ignoring someone's stifled laugh as they walk by. Philip shuts his eyes and thinks, _I wish she could have met you like this._

They walk outside to the relative seclusion of the trees bordering the school grounds.

"We can go again one day," says Philip. He thinks about the motel again and his breath catches. "Just. Not yet."

"It's okay, come on," says Lukas. He touches Philip's neck, kind of like he's gentling him. Philip leans into it, and Lukas moves to wrap him into a hug. It's cold and Lukas is very warm. "I get it. Obviously."

They stand there like that until Philip can see properly again. He clears his throat. "Maybe Helen and Gabe will go out of town for a night soon."

Lukas grins and pulls his phone out of his bag. "Or my dad will," he says, showing Philip a text message. "He just sent that."

Philip points at the screen. "You think 'some friends' is supposed to mean 'it's okay if you fuck Philip here'?"

Lukas shoves Philip away, expression horrified, then grabs him back to kiss the laughter out of his mouth. "No," Lukas says firmly, then, "But I won't let that stop me."

"Oh you won't, will you," Philip mocks, kissing him as hard as he can.

 

 

Lukas says it before a race, catching Philip unawares.

"Wait," says Philip, blinking to switch his thoughts from camera mode to--

"My stomach hurts," Lukas says again. "A lot."

His eyes are warm and nervous, the same as when Philip told him he didn't have to say it back, and after the first time they kissed, alone together in the cabin. He's holding Philip's hand tight.

"Right," says Philip at last. He's a little dazed. "Thank you."

Lukas laughs at him. "You're really crap at this," he says, and kisses Philip's open mouth and leaves, starting his bike at a run.

Philip stares after him. Finally his brain catches up and he yells, "My stomach hurts too!" after Lukas as loud as he can, because he means it, and they're okay and alive and together, and neither of them care who's listening.


End file.
